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Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. has not officially announced his campaign for president, but it has already run into its first big obstacle: Biden was accused last week of inappropriately touching Lucy Flores, a former Nevada assemblywoman, during a rally in 2014.
The charge has created days’ worth of headlines, but Jimmy Fallon noted that after President Trump won in 2016 — despite more than 20 accusations of sexual misconduct — this hardly seemed like a disqualifier.
“It’s not a good look for Biden. If any other women come forward and say he acted inappropriate, he could get elected president.” — JIMMY FALLON
On “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert acted out parts of Flores’s account. She said Biden embraced her from behind and nuzzled her hair just before they went onstage at a campaign event.
“Mm, is that Garnier Fructis?” Colbert mumbled, imitating Biden. “Are you relaxed yet? No? You actually seem more tense than when I started. Here, let me kiss the top of your head.”
Trevor Noah said Biden’s actions rated pretty high on the creepy-conduct scale.
“Honestly, smelling hair is one of the creepiest things you can do. It’s on the list of creepy things — it’s right after ‘collecting doll parts’ and ‘sneezing with your eyes open.’” — TREVOR NOAHBarr’s ‘Summary’
Attorney General William P. Barr released a statement on Friday clarifying that the four-page letter he put out discussing the Mueller report should not be seen as a full summary. He said the letter, which seemed to broadly outline the findings of the report, “was not, and did not purport to be, an exhaustive recounting of the special counsel’s investigation or report.” Seth Meyers found that confusing.
“Wait, so it wasn’t supposed to be a summary? That’s kind of an important detail to leave out. That’s like reading the line, ‘The prince and the princess lived happily ever after’ in a fairy tale, and then you turn the page and there’s a note saying, ‘That was not — and should not — be mischaracterized as the ending. They got divorced the next day.” — SETH MEYERSApril Fools’ Day
Meyers commemorated April Fools’ Day not with a prank but with some dark humor.
“Today was April Fools’ Day, so if you saw anything in the news that was positive, that’s why.” — SETH MEYERS
For his part, Stephen Colbert did his best to prove Meyers right with a wry joke about Trump’s border policies.
“Trump is still concerned with our southern border. In response to a surge of migrants coming into this country, Trump unveiled a new approach that treats asylum seekers fairly and humanely. April Fools’! I gotcha.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (CBD Edition)
“I heard that pretty soon Walgreens was going to start selling CBD products in their stores. Meanwhile, you can get actual weed at any Walmart if you just raise your eyebrows at the right employee.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Indiana mayor and Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg has announced his campaign has raised million in the last three months. But unfortunately he’s just going to use the money to buy more vowels.” — SETH MEYERS, showing the mayor’s name spelled “Buittigieigie”
For Jimmy Kimmel, pranking his Aunt Chippy will never get old.
“The Late Show” took a peek into Kellyanne Conway’s brain as she tried to explain the president’s health care plans.
Tiffany Haddish, who recently announced that she would be hosting “Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready,” a Netflix series devoted to younger comics, will sit down with Kimmel on Tuesday.Also, Check This Out
Here’s an eight-minute look at how the budding 17-year-old pop star Billie Eilish made her hit song, “Bury a Friend.”
Plus, Ideas for What to Watch Tonight:
The 50 Best Movies on Netflix Right Now
The 25 Best Films of the 21st Century
The Best Movies on Amazon Prime Video Right NowB:
管l家婆彩图财经版【听】【着】【这】【轻】【悠】【悠】【的】【语】【气】，【侍】【卫】【们】【浑】【身】【一】【颤】。“【娘】【娘】【放】【心】，【属】【下】【们】【就】【把】【这】【死】【贱】【婢】【拖】【出】【去】【喂】【外】【面】【的】【野】【狗】。” 【扮】【演】【侍】【卫】【首】【领】【的】【人】【说】【完】【之】【后】，【就】【起】【身】【与】【其】【他】【的】【三】【位】【侍】【卫】【拖】【着】【趴】【在】【长】【凳】【上】【扮】【演】【已】【经】【死】【掉】【的】【丫】【鬟】【许】【年】【晴】【扔】【在】【了】【一】【个】【看】【上】【去】【很】【像】【一】【片】【林】【子】【的】【地】【方】，【随】【后】【直】【接】【往】【地】【上】【扔】【去】。 【被】【扔】【在】【地】【上】【的】【许】【年】【晴】【闭】【着】【眼】【睛】【稍】【微】【的】【皱】【了】
“【怎】【么】？【你】【这】【是】【打】【算】【干】【什】【么】【呢】？”【含】【笑】【说】【完】【了】【之】【后】【不】【解】【的】【问】【道】。 “【也】【没】【什】【么】【了】！【就】【是】【感】【觉】【其】【实】【很】【多】【的】【事】【情】【不】【是】【我】【想】【的】【那】【个】【样】【子】，【也】【不】【是】【我】【能】【怎】【么】【样】【就】【能】【怎】【么】【样】【呢】！”【说】【完】【了】【之】【后】【看】【着】【面】【前】【的】【人】【淡】【定】【的】【到】。 “【怎】【么】【说】！”【看】【着】【面】【前】【的】【人】【不】【解】【的】【问】【道】。 “【就】【是】【字】【面】【的】【意】【思】【了】！”【含】【笑】【说】【完】【了】【之】【后】【看】【着】【面】【前】【的】【人】【问】
162.【行】【动】 【虫】【族】【入】【侵】【【喵】【之】【国】【度】】【的】【事】【情】，【说】【起】【来】【也】【是】【十】【分】【诡】【异】。【他】【们】【如】【何】【出】【现】【的】，【他】【们】【为】【何】【出】【现】，【英】【俊】【大】【王】【一】【概】【不】【知】。 【她】【只】【知】【道】，【等】【到】【【喵】【之】【国】【度】】【发】【现】【虫】【族】【之】【后】，【虫】【族】【在】【【喵】【之】【国】【度】】【就】【已】【经】【形】【成】【了】【席】【卷】【之】【势】。 【但】【【喵】【主】】【应】【该】【是】【知】【道】【点】【什】【么】，【因】【为】【【虫】【族】】【的】【敌】【人】【名】【字】【就】【是】【【喵】【主】】【提】【出】【的】。【在】【提】管l家婆彩图财经版【莫】【巳】【末】【简】【直】【不】【敢】【相】【信】，【居】【然】【有】【人】【能】【够】【在】【百】【米】【之】【外】【听】【见】【自】【己】【的】【动】【静】！【自】【己】【分】【明】【任】【何】【声】【音】【都】【没】【有】【产】【生】，【不】【论】【是】【移】【动】【时】【亦】【或】【者】【停】【下】【时】，【她】【都】【没】【有】【发】【出】【任】【何】【的】【声】【音】！ 【除】【非】【前】【面】【的】【那】【个】【十】【七】【岁】【的】【小】【男】【生】，【能】【够】【在】【百】【米】【之】【外】【听】【得】【见】【自】【己】【在】【树】【枝】【上】【进】【行】【跃】【动】【时】，【脚】【底】【与】【树】【皮】【进】【行】【摩】【擦】【的】【微】【弱】【到】【不】【能】【再】【微】【弱】【的】【声】【音】 【可】
【雨】【欣】【怡】【一】【直】【等】【到】【了】【凌】【晨】【一】【点】【左】【右】，【才】【看】【到】【胖】【子】【一】【瘸】【一】【拐】【的】【扶】【着】【血】【肉】【模】【糊】【的】【唐】【文】【杰】；【从】【门】【外】【走】【了】【进】【来】，【见】【此】【雨】【欣】【怡】【连】【忙】【跑】【了】【上】【去】。 “【胖】【子】，【怎】【么】【回】【事】？”【雨】【欣】【怡】【连】【忙】【从】【胖】【子】【手】【里】【接】【过】【唐】【文】【杰】。 【胖】【子】【坐】【了】【下】【来】，【端】【起】【一】【杯】【水】，【将】【水】【杯】【里】【的】【水】【一】【饮】【而】【尽】【后】，【才】【将】【这】【幅】【惨】【状】【告】【诉】【了】【雨】【欣】【怡】。 【之】【前】【他】【收】【到】【消】【息】，【一】【帮】【黑】
【胤】【国】【二】【十】【年】，【春】。 【已】【经】【五】【十】【一】【岁】【的】【姬】【子】【奕】，【当】【朝】【宣】【布】【退】【位】，【让】【太】【子】【姬】【邦】【安】【择】【日】【登】【基】。 【因】【这】【项】【决】【定】，【只】【有】【姬】【子】【奕】【的】【几】【名】【亲】【信】【知】【晓】，【故】【而】【一】【经】【宣】【布】，【满】【朝】【哗】【然】，【作】【为】【主】【角】【的】【姬】【邦】【安】【都】【愣】【了】【半】【天】。 【文】【武】【百】【官】【纷】【纷】【跪】【下】【相】【劝】，【却】【被】【姬】【子】【奕】【摆】【手】，【唤】【了】【起】【来】：“【朕】【老】【了】，【厌】【政】【了】，【太】【子】【这】【些】【年】【参】【与】【朝】【政】，【进】【退】【有】【度】，【政】
【学】【院】【食】【堂】【二】【楼】【靠】【窗】【的】【小】【隔】【间】【里】，【正】【午】【的】【阳】【光】【从】【窗】【外】【倾】【泻】【而】【下】，【一】【层】【金】【色】【的】【纱】【铺】【在】【茶】【案】【上】，【一】【壶】【热】【气】【腾】【腾】【的】【热】【茶】【散】【发】【着】【余】【香】。 【王】【寂】【悠】【然】【自】【得】【的】【坐】【在】【那】【里】，【品】【味】【着】【壶】【中】【的】【绿】【茶】，【香】【气】【沁】【人】【心】【脾】，【口】【齿】【余】【香】。 【因】【为】【他】【是】【来】【凑】【热】【闹】【的】，【所】【以】【才】【能】【这】【么】【悠】【闲】。【但】【是】【一】【旁】【的】【两】【人】【却】【不】【一】【样】【了】，【不】【大】【的】【隔】【间】【里】，【坐】【在】【王】【寂】【身】【旁】【的】